Thursday, July 17, 2008

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Chapter 5: Where It Really Begins

"Yaar, tu bandiyon ke naam bade mast rakhta hai!" said Sameer, amidst fits of laughter. Venky was joining him, slapping his back and both couldn't control their amusement. "Don't mind them, Naveen. I think it's a really nice story," said Priya, smiling at him. They held on for a moment and they both joined Sameer and Venky in laughing uncontrollably. Naveen could see Sameer making paper airplanes from the manuscript he had given them to read and float them over the promenade at Marine Drive. The airplanes flew long and low and finally settled over the waters, reflecting the shining lights of the beautiful Queen's Necklace in downtown Mumbai.

The traffic had trickled down as the hours had passed and the friends had the entire stretch of Nariman Point to themselves. Naveen's Zen was parked down the road and Sameer had his Scooty besides it.

Naveen had just shown the first draft of the story he was writing to his friends. He liked that his friends atleast found it amusing, even if they couldn't stop making jokes about "his sweet writing" or "emotional content" or the "romantic twists in the storyline."

"No, seriously yaar, there are a couple of points with your story-telling. Pehle toh tujhe likhni nai aati. Upar se itni tooti-footi English mein likhta hai. But again, tu bandiyon ke naam mast rakhta hai yaar!" Venky had paused enough to give his expert critique on the manuscript. Naveen punched him lightly and smiled at Priya.

"Seriously man. Geetanjali, Samarra, Nimisha! Where do you come up with these names man? Are there any people I should know about?" she winked at him.

Naveen just looked away into the distance watching the fading lights of the steamers in the Arabian Sea. He was smiling. The light breeze floating by put him in a very good mood. The moon cast a bright light on the foursome as they sat there, laughing, chatting, enjoying each others company.

"Arre, come in guys. The music is getting really awesome. You don't wanna miss it!" Sanjana's voice floated from across the street. She was standing in front of Not Just Jazz By The Bay and motioning for them all to move in.

They got up to go in. Venky and Sameer, Priya, Naveen.

Naveen turned back, closed his eyes and felt that breeze ruffle his hair for one last time. He loved it.

He remembered the words from the movie Memento:

"I have to believe in a world outside my own mind. I have to believe that my actions still have meaning. Even if I can't remember them. I have to believe that when my eyes are closed, the world's still here. Do I believe the world's still here? Is it still out there? Yeah. We all need memories to remind ourselves who we are. Im no different."

"Now, where was I?"

He looked back to see his friends going in. He smiled.

"We lay in each other's arms, but the room is just an empty space. I guess we lived it out. Something in the air. We smile too fast, then can't think of a thing to say..."


Nitya said...

Keep writing Naveen - this is getting very interesting:) How are you btw?

Anshul Agrawal said...

Now this is what I call a Twist...

Btw i liked the Chapter 4 too...

Shweta said...

aah .. twist in the tale .. nice..

Paradox Phillic said...

Well... this was kind of anti-climax but i have to give you credit for being different...

Not many story tellers would have taken this risk...

Waiting for more!

P.S. - In case you wish to read real life amusing stories .. read "Amusement Calling" series , specially from n to n+15 under Matrimonial humour... shall wait for what you have to say there :)

Keep writing are doing a great job!

Paradox Phillic said...

Oh i forgot to mention that the "Amusement Calling" series can be found in my blog, of course...

I know its too obvious to state and u must have figured that already... but just in case.

Anirrban said...


O said...

yaar tu bandiyon ke naame sahi mein mast rakhta hai ;-)

one concern: wouldn't it be a bit of risk to blur the lines between personal identity and character from a story?

voodooboy said...

ZOMFG! It's been a month...where is chapter 6?!!

Maybe it's just me...but don't keep deviating from the "main" story so much, especially since you don't update it that's...I dunno...very "WTF!" inducing.. :p

Maverick said...

@all: arigatoo!

chapter 6 will be break ke baad! the story has gone out of control!

so wont try to rein it in! free mein likhne mil raha hai... mite as well abuse it ;)