Thursday, October 25, 2007

The Cost of A Lesson

"There's a truth that's deeper than experience. It's an order of truth that separates the profound from the merely clever, and the reality from the perception. We're helpless, usually, in the face of it; and the cost of knowing it, like the cost of knowing love, is sometimes greater than any heart would willingly pay. It doesn't always help us to love the world, but it does prevent us from hating the world. And the only way to know that truth is to share it, from heart to heart, just as Prabaker told it to me, just as I'm telling it to you now.

I had read these words from the book Shantaram for the first time on Vijaya's blog. I never could grasp the meaning fully. I read the book. I did not completely understand the meaning of the words. After the course of the last few days, after the lunch with Shru and the events thereafter, while on a trip to Kerala yesterday, the meaning dawned upon me.

It dawned that I didn't hate. I didn't hate the situation, I didn't hate the people involved, I didn't hate my fate/destiny.

There was a strange sense of acceptance of the situation for what it is and a focus on my own path ahead instead of fretting about the way life panned out.

It's been a high price to pay to learn this lesson.

But probably it is a fair price, since a lifetime ahead awaits and I have to walk it by myself.

It's a truth deeper than reason. Whilst the reasons for it may be unknown, I don't think it is important to me anymore. I seem to have found the solutions I needed.

Just as Prabaker said it to Lin, just as Lin's words said to me, and now I am saying it to you:

Life goes on. And priorities keep changing. There's only so much a person can do. After that, acceptance is the only solution.