Thursday, December 20, 2007

Some Long Forgotten Words...

"Character is what you are willing to do, when the spotlight has been turned away, the applause has died down and no one is around to give you any credit."
- Ann Landers

Tonight, more than ever, I need hope. And maybe, I already have it.


Came across this joke... Hilarious!!!

When Franco was told on his deathbed of the crowds who had congregated in the square outside the Presidential Palace to say goodbye, he was reported to have asked "Why? Where are they going??"

Would You Know My Name?

One more addition to the list of life's disappointments today :)

Oh well, we still have tomorrow.

Friday, December 07, 2007

This Will Be My Life's Song

This would be the song that I would like to be played on my death-bed. When I die, I just want this song to be played at full volume! (in a loop till you guys get bored :)

Remember this: The song is Dream On by Aerosmith. And it's written for me! It's written for my life!

Dream On - Aerosmith

Every time I look in the mirror
All these lines on my face getting clearer
The past is gone
It goes by, like dusk to dawn
Isn't that the way
Everybody's got their dues in life to pay

Yeah, I know nobody knows
where it comes and where it goes
I know it's everybody's sin
You got to lose to know how to win

Half my life
is in books' written pages
Lived and learned from fools and
from sages
You know it's true
All the things come back to you

Sing with me, sing for the year
Sing for the laughter, sing for the tears
Sing with me, if it's just for today
Maybe tomorrow, the good lord will take you away

Yeah, sing with me, sing for the year
Sing for the laughter, sing for the tear
Sing with me, if it's just for today
Maybe tomorrow, the good Lord will take you away

Dream On Dream On Dream On
Dream until your dreams come true
Dream On Dream On Dream On
Dream until your dream comes through
Dream On Dream On Dream On
Dream On Dream On
Dream On Dream On

Sing with me, sing for the year
Sing for the laughter, sing for the tear
Sing with me, if it's just for today
Maybe tomorrow, the good Lord will take you away
Sing with me, sing for the year
Sing for the laughter, sing for the tear
Sing with me, if it's just for today
Maybe tomorrow, the good Lord will take you away...

Thursday, November 29, 2007

Ayn Rand's Words...

So True...

Life has a strange way of making you take the paths you least expect... Like I have come to believe,there will be ups and downs,but they will only make you stronger.

The weak ones arent those who fall,but those who fall and dont pick themselves up.

Times change... and so do people.However,the people who love and respect you do it for who you are,not for who they want you to be,and that NEVER changes.

What good is being the best... if it brings out the worst in you?

Saturday, November 24, 2007

One Year!

Tonight I complete 1 year in Tokyo. It seems like yesterday that I set foot outside Narita Airport into the biting cold. When I look back over the last year, I sometimes wonder how quickly it went and sometimes feel it moved so slowly!

I have changed. Plain and simple. Much more confident, much more bindaas, much more impatient, much more rapid firing. Today, I walk with my head held high at all times. I walk knowing for the first time in my life, that I can achieve ANYTHING I want to. I am not afraid of the world, its crooked people, its ways. Quite simply, my self-confidence is so high and my mind is so secure now, that I care a fuck for this world and its shenanigans.

Through this experience, I have learnt the value of time, family & friends and having a goal in life. I have learnt that money is never a constraint to a dream. I have learnt to live alone and independently, yet not lost that love in my heart for my loved ones and close friends. I have learnt that whatever will be, will be: Just do what your heart says. Iv lived well. Iv managed to fulfill a lifetimes wish to bring and show mom Japan. To me, that makes my trip a success.

There are times when life has been hell, the workload has been mind-numbing, the efforts have taken a heavy toll: and having faced all this, I am now confident of facing any situation in life with a newfound aggression and vigour.

I have learnt to let go of lost causes, break-away from the past, meet life head-on and never give up on my dreams!

Above everything, I have learnt to value and respect time.

Thank you God. Thank you Amma and Appa. Love you Nithu. Thank you friends. Thank you Tokyo. Thank you for my success. And thank you for the memories.

Sing With Me! Sing For My Laughter :)

Dream On - Aerosmith

Every time I look in the mirror
All these lines on my face getting clearer
The past is gone
It goes by, like dusk to dawn
Isn't that the way
Everybody's got their dues in life to pay

Yeah, I know nobody knows
where it comes and where it goes
I know it's everybody's sin
You got to lose to know how to win

Half my life
is in books' written pages
Lived and learned from fools and
from sages
You know it's true
All the things come back to you

Sing with me, sing for the year
Sing for the laughter, sing for the tears
Sing with me, if it's just for today
Maybe tomorrow, the good lord will take you away

Yeah, sing with me, sing for the year
Sing for the laughter, sing for the tear
Sing with me, if it's just for today
Maybe tomorrow, the good Lord will take you away

Dream On Dream On Dream On
Dream until your dreams come true
Dream On Dream On Dream On
Dream until your dream comes through
Dream On Dream On Dream On
Dream On Dream On
Dream On Dream On

Sing with me, sing for the year
Sing for the laughter, sing for the tear
Sing with me, if it's just for today
Maybe tomorrow, the good Lord will take you away
Sing with me, sing for the year
Sing for the laughter, sing for the tear
Sing with me, if it's just for today
Maybe tomorrow, the good Lord will take you away...

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Thursday, November 01, 2007

I Don't Wanna Close My Eyes

As this trip winds up, I wonder how life seems to rush past when it is going well :) All the meetings with friends, lunches, spending time with dad, mom and sis, visiting friends, visiting Guruvayoor and Triprayar and having a lot of unanswered questions answered by the Almighty HIMSELF, watching the final F1 race of the season, visiting Palasdhare, attending weddings, visiting Ahmedabad and having such a wonderful day, watching photos of Tokyo with family and friends, answering their questions, meeting up with office pals and celebrating with them.

I have lived in the last 3 weeks and yet this greedy heart wants more. Just a moment more to enjoy it all, just a moment more to take it all in, an unending moment is all I need.

I could stay awake just to hear you breathing
Watch you smile while you are sleeping
While you're far away and dreaming
I could spend my life in this sweet surrender
I could stay lost in this moment forever
When, every moment spent with you
Is a moment I treasure

I don't wanna close my eyes
I don't wanna fall asleep
'Cause I'd miss you, baby
And I don't wanna miss a thing
'Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream would never do
I'd still miss you, baby
And I don't wanna miss a thing

Monday, October 29, 2007

A Blog After Aeons

It must be ages since I have sat down and actually WRITTEN. There was a time when I used this forum to discuss my views and thoughts on the world around me. But nowadays, each time I want to write something to voice my "opinion", I wonder: "Does it really matter?"

And after much thought and no interest I say: "FCUK it!"

Simply... The Greatest

A collection of quotes from one of my favourite athletes. Even if he were nothing else, what a collection of words!

  • Champions aren't made in gyms. Champions are made from something they have deep inside them: A desire, a dream, a vision. They have to have last-minute stamina, they have to be a little faster, they have to have the skill and the will. But the will must be stronger than the skill.
  • He who is not courageous enough to take risks will accomplish nothing in life.
  • I know where I'm going and I know the truth, and I don't have to be what you want me to be. I'm free to be what I want.
  • It isn't the mountains ahead to climb that wear you out; it's the pebble in your shoe.
  • It's not bragging if you can back it up.
  • Rivers, ponds, lakes and streams — they all have different names, but they all contain water. Just as religions do — they all contain truths.
  • The fight is won or lost far away from witnesses — behind the lines, in the gym and out there on the road, long before I dance under those lights.
  • To be a great champion you must believe you are the best. If you're not, pretend you are.
  • To be able to give away riches is mandatory if you wish to possess them. This is the only way that you will be truly rich.
  • Wisdom is knowing when you can't be wise.
  • If my mind can conceive it; and my heart can believe it - then I can achieve it.
  • Only a man who knows what it is like to be defeated can reach down to the bottom of his soul and come up with the extra ounce of power it takes to win when the match is even.
A mixture of self-knowledge, ego, humility, confidence, dashing personality and some very true words.

Above all, my favourite of the entire set was the one given below; a truth that almost the entire world has turned its back upon.

Friendship is the hardest thing in the world to explain. It's not something you learn in school. But if you haven't learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven't learned anything.

Source: Wikiquotes

Thursday, October 25, 2007

The Cost of A Lesson

"There's a truth that's deeper than experience. It's an order of truth that separates the profound from the merely clever, and the reality from the perception. We're helpless, usually, in the face of it; and the cost of knowing it, like the cost of knowing love, is sometimes greater than any heart would willingly pay. It doesn't always help us to love the world, but it does prevent us from hating the world. And the only way to know that truth is to share it, from heart to heart, just as Prabaker told it to me, just as I'm telling it to you now.

I had read these words from the book Shantaram for the first time on Vijaya's blog. I never could grasp the meaning fully. I read the book. I did not completely understand the meaning of the words. After the course of the last few days, after the lunch with Shru and the events thereafter, while on a trip to Kerala yesterday, the meaning dawned upon me.

It dawned that I didn't hate. I didn't hate the situation, I didn't hate the people involved, I didn't hate my fate/destiny.

There was a strange sense of acceptance of the situation for what it is and a focus on my own path ahead instead of fretting about the way life panned out.

It's been a high price to pay to learn this lesson.

But probably it is a fair price, since a lifetime ahead awaits and I have to walk it by myself.

It's a truth deeper than reason. Whilst the reasons for it may be unknown, I don't think it is important to me anymore. I seem to have found the solutions I needed.

Just as Prabaker said it to Lin, just as Lin's words said to me, and now I am saying it to you:

Life goes on. And priorities keep changing. There's only so much a person can do. After that, acceptance is the only solution.

Monday, October 15, 2007


Another year passed by.
I stood and watched the seasons turn.
The sun rose and the sun set.
I stood on the rocks watching the sky go from a early cyan to a late fire.

The ego chipped a bit more.
The angry young man mellowed.
However the questions still remain.
Theres no closure yet for the unasked questions.

Iv read about people wanting fresh starts.
Let me join the wanters.

My perceptions of life altered dramatically over the last year,
I stand without a reference point now.

Not knowing the past,
Nor the coming future.
Each day of the present, I die a silent death.

Someone looking will wonder whats the torment for someone who has it all.
For all the right words I know, cannot seem to put my finger on the reason.

Waqt se pehle, taqdeer ke bina...
Kuch nahi hota.

Till I search, till I find, I shall walk on.
Walk on with hope in my heart.

With all the ego breakers... this man also learnt patience in tough times.
And tough times never last. But tough people do.

Sunday, October 07, 2007

The Sony Way

Someday, I want to work for a man like this. Someday, I hope I become the understanding manager, instead of a logical autocrat.

Saturday, September 15, 2007

I Have Touched The Face Of God

Tokyo is a city of many faces to me. The face of a clean and beautifully maintained city, the face of thousands of years of glorious and (sometimes) deeply painful heritage, a face of artistic magnificence and culture, a face of efficiency, a face of hard work, a face of courtesy, a face of rascism, a face of money, a face of a silent middle-class, a face of misconceptions cleared, a face of sin-city at Roppongi, a face of new hobbies like pool, swimming, party-nights, a face of extreme hard work, a face of hard-earned respect.

Tokyo is a city of gross urbanization that drives me nuts at times and plain rural beauty that takes my breath away and leaves me speechless.

This blog is for the display of the rural beauty that appealed to me :) It brings to mind one of my favourite poems. A picture is worth a thousand words! Please feast your eyes.

1. Lake Kawaguchiko

2. Lake Kawaguchiko

3. Mt. Fuji - 5th Station

4. On the way to Mt. Fuji

5. Lake Kawaguchiko

And the reason for the title of this post... :)

Thursday, September 06, 2007

Ladies and Gentlemen...

It's simplicity, humility, talent, an unforgettable song... an inspiring story

Ladies and Gentlemen... it's Paul Potts

Sunday, August 19, 2007

Dreams Which Come True :)

Yesterday, I took my mom to Odaiba (Tokyo Bay) for a visit. We took a cruise, shopped, ate at a French Cafe and shopped some more :) I also met up with Tetra san, who works in the Indonesian Embassy in Tokyo. He was an acquaintance I made during my short-lived Japanese class visits :)

While walking along the decks along Tokyo Bay, I suddenly remembered that it was standing here and while admiring the beauty of the sights, that I called home one day in February and while speaking to Mom, decided that somehow I would get her here.

As true as the world is round, I made my mom's and my dream come true. This is one of the small personal victories in life for me.

After working in Tokyo, I can say for sure, this is the first of many more :) Shinsei does that to people Iv heard :)

P.S: I bought Bose Speakers for my laptop today and boy!!! They are brilliant! Every note, every nuance is crystal clear... Wheeeeeeeeeeee :)

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Thai Manne Vanakkam...

Happy Independence Day India :)

Wednesday, August 08, 2007

An Inexplicable Incident aka It Was All In The Eyes

Tonight, I boarded the train home from Meguro station. Before the doors close, there is an announcement made over the public intercom system. Just before the announcement happened, a couple came walking. Slightly older (maybe in their mid 30s) and not married. Hand in hand they walked till the door of the train. She got in. He stayed back at the station. The door had still not closed. He never said a word to her and she never said a word to him. Not a goodbye, not a smile. He stayed watching her. He was fidgeting, trying to fan himself in this heat. Still, not a word. Not a goodbye. The announcement came and the doors closed. He kept looking at her. The train started moving. He waved goodbye. Not a word still. Quietly, he walked back.

Chasing Dreams...

Saturday, August 04, 2007

What A Song!!!

This song came up in my iTunes right now and I just wanted to put it up.

Just one word for this song: WOW!!!

We Make Mistakes... We Are Only Human...

This article summarises what I have been feeling for the past few days. Heres a man, who commited mistakes in his past and is paying for them now. Probably it is fair that one is paying for ones mistakes, but lets hope that there is redemption at the end of this, because ultimately, it is the intrinsic quality of a person that is important and which, for me determines the good/bad/ugly side to someone.

Sanjay Dutt, Im rooting for you buddy.

Dreams Of Better Times

Truly an inspiring article and definately I agree: This is the new India.

Click Here

Tuesday, July 31, 2007

My Name Is Naveen...

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road your trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit
Rest if you must, but don't you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and its turns,
As everyone of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about
When they might have won, had they stuck it out.
Don't give up though the pace seems slow,
You may succeed with another blow.

Often the struggler has given up
When he might have captured the victors cup;
And he learned too late when the night came down,
How close he was to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far;
So stick to the fight when your hardest hit,
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit!

You can take away all I have, you can never take away my will to work.
You can play games with me, you can never question my honesty.
You can kick me down, you can never keep me there.

I might bend, but I wont break... My name is Naveen.


What must one do when the root cause of ones misery is also the root cause of ones happiness? What must one do when the root cause of ones failure is also the root cause of ones achievements? What must one do when the root cause of ones problems is also the root solution to ones problems? What must one do when one is challenged with something one has not done in the last 23 years? What must one do when peace of mind is the price for peace at work? What must one do when cowardly silence is valued above brave honesty? What must one do when personal biases override professional accomplishments? What must one do when after all one has done, one is forced to pick up the pieces and get up bruised and battered? What must one do when one needs to learn politics in order to have peace of mind?

Work, here I come. Swamigale, please look after me...

Another Song...

Forget the video... Just the song please...

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Old Memories and Some Great Music :)

As kids, we used to follow the WWE (then WWF) religiously, play trump cards with cousins and friends and watch each match, hoping for the hero to win :) Aah... the great old days!





Farewell President Kalam...

A fond farewell to one of the greatest Indians I have known. And I hope that India has many other great men like him coming up :) With this hope and belief, I present the song which was part of his final speech.

When You Wish Upon A Star

When you wish upon a star
Makes no difference who you are
Anything your heart desires
Will come to you

If your heart is in your dreams
No request is to extreme
When you wish upon a star
As dreamers do

Fate is kind
She brings to those who love
As sweet fullfillment of their secret drowns
Like a boat out of the blue
Fate steps in and see's you through

Moma when you wished upon a star
Your dreams come true

Fate is kind
She brings to those who love
As sweet fullfillment of their secret drowns
Like a boat out of the blue
Fate steps in and see's you through

Baby when you wish upon a star
Your dreams come true
When you wished upon a star
Makes no difference who you are
Your dreams come true


Bada mushkil din tha aaj. The best part of today was that it is over :) Good night!

Saturday, July 21, 2007

Of Loyalty, Commitment, Ownership, Professionalism...

Yesterday night, we were all sitting at Maya Restaurant past midnight. Dinner had just been completed and we were relaxing as normal on a Friday night. And then started a debate on the principles of someone wilfully quitting a site, the impact of such an act on the persons career within iflex, the merits of a managers perspective (good or bad) on such a person and many others.

Other points that came up were those of loyalty - of an organization towards its employees and the employee towards the organization; professionalism - representing the company best at the client-site; ownership - taking full commitment for a project and pushing it through.

A lot of points were discussed, some of them personal, and probably I wont be able to go into them here. Even our senior-most site manager, Nikhil san joined in our discussion.

It was a combination of pragmitism, optimism, pessimism, hope, anger, pride and many more emotions, which flowed freely. But the cake was taken by a couple of comments from the person whos been there, done that. He put into words a very simple principle we all probably already know or believe in. He simply said: "Guys, this is the time to work hard. For the next 6-7 years atleast, work without having too many thoughts of seeing too much money. But always believe that the good people will never be left behind."

Personally, I believe it this a lot. Loyalty and commitment to me mean trying your best at all times, irrespective of the rewards waiting for you in the near-term. What is the motivation? Money? No. Position? No. Power? No.

It probably just is that you have the opportunity to do something that tests your ability and if your ability is able to make something happen, then what more satisfaction can you hope for?

Timeless Classics... A John Denver Tribute

1. Country Roads

Almost heaven, west virginia
Blue ridge mountains
Shenandoah river -
Life is old there
Older than the trees
Younger than the mountains
Growin like a breeze

Country roads, take me home
To the place I belong
West virginia, mountain momma
Take me home, country roads

All my memories gathered round her
Miners lady, stranger to blue water
Dark and dusty, painted on the sky
Misty taste of moonshine
Teardrops in my eye

Country roads, take me home
To the place I belong
West virginia, mountain momma
Take me home, country roads

I hear her voice
In the mornin hour she calls me
The radio reminds me of my home far away
And drivin down the road I get a feelin
That I should have been home yesterday, yesterday

Country roads, take me home
To the place I belong
West virginia, mountain momma
Take me home, country roads

Country roads, take me home
To the place I belong
West virginia, mountain momma
Take me home, country roads
Take me home, now country roads
Take me home, now country roads

2. Leaving On A Jet Plane

All my bags are packed
Im ready to go
Im standin here outside your door
I hate to wake you up to say goodbye
But the dawn is breakin
Its early morn
The taxis waitin
Hes blowin his horn
Already Im so lonesome
I could die

So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that youll wait for me
Hold me like youll never let me go
cause Im leavin on a jet plane
Dont know when Ill be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go

Theres so many times Ive let you down
So many times Ive played around
I tell you now, they dont mean a thing
Evry place I go, Ill think of you
Evry song I sing, Ill sing for you
When I come back, Ill bring your wedding ring

So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that youll wait for me
Hold me like youll never let me go
cause Im leavin on a jet plane
Dont know when Ill be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go

Now the time has come to leave you
One more time
Let me kiss you
Then close your eyes
Ill be on my way
Dream about the days to come
When I wont have to leave alone
About the times, I wont have to say

Oh, kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that youll wait for me
Hold me like youll never let me go
cause Im leavin on a jet plane
Dont know when Ill be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go

But, Im leavin on a jet plane
Dont know when Ill be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go

And click here to view another super-beautiful song (Surprise package for tonight :)

But It Rained...

Long live Parikrama...

Monday, July 16, 2007

Magical Moments

Aankhen bas bandh hain. Hosh aur aawaz nahi. Sirf mera dil sun raha hai. Ek zindagi bhi nyochavar ho jaaye is gaane pe. Shayad keemat kam hogi.

Allah, Ishwar, Rab, God. Jo bhi ho. Shayad inhi ki parchai honge.

A Fight To The Finish...

I have often wondered what life really is, like all of us do, sometimes or every time. I wonder what is my purpose here. If I wasn't here, how would that impact the cosmos. If there indeed is a cosmos or is it just plain chaos. Is there any need for me to be. Is there any reason for me not to be. These are just random thoughts. It's not like I want or particularly care for the answers. Over time life has made me draw my own conclusions and probably they are very different from what you have inferred.

Till a few years back, I used to want to die at 25. Out in a flash. Gone in a trace. Lived young, died young funda.

Why 25? I don't really know. Just a random number. Or maybe coz in cricket we used to have this quarter-century concept, where 25 was a minor milestone.

No. I wasn't suicidal. And no. It wasn't anything serious. Just a fanciful thought of the darker side of me. I felt that it was a good age to have experienced life and then go out. Didn't feel like seeing more of life was necessary.

But then, as life progressed, I started thinking that I was wrong to have such thoughts. I should not even be entertaining such thoughts. Don't know why, but I started looking forward to everything in life. I always did earlier too, just that now, I became attached to them. I loved getting up in the morning. Relished the new challenges each day brought me. Appreciated the beauty around me more. I began seeing that wanting to go early is a selfish thought. I began to realize that life isnt about the number of years lived, but how well youv lived each moment of it.

Probably in my search for answers, I go so involved with the small things that surrounded me, that I forgot the starting purpose for my quest. Probably, life just wrapped me in itself to show me its wondrous sights and sounds to tell me: "Hey hold on. I am gonna show you a much bigger, better and beautiful world than you imagine youv already seen."

Life is indeed so beautiful. It has so much beauty in it. Beauty of sights, sounds, countries, people. Even the challenges it throws at you are beautiful. Coz you get into them thinking how you will come out of them and lo... behold... you have conquered them.

Today, I want to be alive. Alive to be able to love my family that extra moment. Alive to enjoy myself and celebrate myself for who I am. Alive to be able to bring a smile to the faces of my family and friends through that single phone call. Alive to contribute to the productivity of my company. Alive to share jokes. Alive to enjoy a weekend and all the rest it brings. Alive to be able to teach and make some meaningful contributions to India someday. Alive to enjoy the music that extra moment.

Today, I want to be alive. My immature quest to go out at 25 showed to me that hidden meanings of life. It showed me that life has so much to offer me and so much I have to offer to this world.

Today I live life in the present. In the now. There is no past. There is no future. It is all about now. It is all about THIS moment!

My life has called. And I am meeting it with a smile :)

Sunday, July 15, 2007

Ek Pyar Ka Nagma Hai...

Zindagi aur... kuch bhi nahi... teri meri kahani hai...

Ae Zindagi Gale Laga Le...

Ae zindagi, gale laga le...
In khushiyon ko, mere pyaron se baatne ka mujhe mauka de.

Khushiyon mein bhi jo aansoon hai, bas in maukon par rakhna khayal mera.
Aur koi shikwa nahi tujhse. Bas jo ho raha hai hone de.

Duniya kitni badi hai, log kitne alag hain.
Ekta hai sabme. Ekjut kaise rehte hain.
Yeh sab baatein sikhai hai tune mujhe.

Aa gale laga mujhe.
Kamyabi ke shikhar par le aai hai tu mujhe.
Bada ehsaan raha hai sabka.
Ehsaanmand hoon main unka.

Bhoolunga nahi woh din jab andhera chaya tha charon taraf.
Par andhere se darrta bhi nahi hoon ab.

Khud par bharosa hai mohe.
Aur khud se zyaada apni kismat pe.

Ishwar mera saakshi hai. Jo kiya hai maine, sab ka chitta hai uske saamne.

Ae zindagi, aa mujhe gale laga le.
Aaj meri khushi ka baandh nahi.

Mudke dekhoon toh zubaan par ek muskurahat aa jaati hai.
Aaj mein zinda rehne ka aabhari hoon main.

Duniya mein kahin apni choti ek misaal bana li hai maine.
Par aage aur chalne ka raasta dikh raha hai mujhe.

Ae zindagi gale laga le.
Lamba safar hai aage mera.
Is safar par saath dena mera.

Raah chalta musafir hoon main.
Manzil ki raah par bhatakte hue.

Khwab toh hai anek. Manzilein bas ek.
Khushi. Sabke aur apne liye.

Himmat dena mujhe. Apna aashirwaad dena.
Mehnat meri pehchaan hai. Imaan mera dharam.

Ae zindagi gale laga le.
Tujhme panah dhoondta aaya hoon main.

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Is This A Turning Point?

We received our performance appraisals today. And we got jacked royally. Why? I dont know. After hours and hours of tireless commitment and hard work, I got to hear: "Hey, there are many others like you. Stay in your place."

Yesterday, I was probably the happiest man on planet Earth. My system had a critical release going live, which was successful. In addition, I felt great when my friends Awadesh and Ganesh praised me, saying I was the heart of MobileBanking system. The praise and compliments felt good.

But, all the happiness came crashing down, when I was told that infact, my job was worthless and that I barely managed to keep my job infact.

Well, thats life I suppose. You are on top one day and at the bottom the next. And a managers perspective is so different from the ground reality. But from tonight, I am going into self-preservation mode. Now, I am in a dont-care state and I think, I have reached my breakpoint. I never thought this would happen, nor did I want this to happen. But my love for my project cannot prevent me from thinking "practically".

Forgive me MB. You know I always meant well.

P.S: May God be with the 7/11 blast victims and their families. Amen.

P.S: I completed 2 years in the industry today :) There are still some things to look forward to. This is just another learning along the way :)

Thursday, July 05, 2007

Bin Tum Jaaye Jiya Kaise, Kaise Jaaye Jiya Bin Tum :)

After very many years, heard this song on Youtube last night :) So here we go...

(Lets see who figures out the title :)

Sunday, July 01, 2007

Dreams... Dreams... Dreams...

Im listening to Konjam Nilavu from Thiruda Thiruda over my new wireless headphone. The sound quality is amazing and right now, I can feel the adrenaline pumping through my veins. Why? Its because I see some things that I have bought out of my earnings and they make me smile.

I see a beautiful and simple fan that is giving me cool air, the wireless headphone that is giving me beautiful music to listen to. And all of a sudden, I am feeling very empowered. Very empowered that today, I am the master of my destiny. Tonight, I feel at the top of my game. Maybe its because of the materialistic things that surround me. But, in essence, I am at the top of my game in the IT industry at my level (atleast in my mind.) I work hard, give full commitment and enjoy challenging work at most times. I have no illusions that I am the best, just that I have the opportunity to try my level best.

This stint in Tokyo has empowered me, financially, emotionally and most of all, has taught me to dream. And in the middle of those dreams, I found one very unlikely goal of life. Will want to invest the next few years to study the feasibility of this system in India and the technical details involved. Just let me know if you would be interested in browsing the web over your mobile phones and having access to a variety of life-improving services like mobile banking, movie bookings, getting financial advice over the net on your mobiles in real time, making travel arrangements for a holiday to Phuket while in the middle of a tour in Calcutta amongst others :)

Whenever I think, the game of football is always somewhere there on my mind. I just simply love the game more than life. Cricket comes a joint first too :)

Right now, I feel an optimism about my life similar to scoring the winning goal in World Cup final :) Its a joy best described by the following anecdote:

Sports Commentator 1: Hey X, see him go crazy after scoring that goal. I wonder what it is that prompts such wild celebrations?
Sports Commentator 2 (who's been a footballer): (Just smiles)

Ab toh aadat si hai mujhe...
Aise jeene mein

(Just smiles)

Saturday, June 30, 2007

Iv Been Tagged!!! :)

First time, Iv been a part of this game :) But hey, I will answer in all honesty :) Read at your own risk...

8 random facts about me :)

  1. I have unshakeable faith in Sri Seshadri Swamigal. Whichever way life treats me, I tell myself that HE will make things right. Iv also decided long back that someday (by Gods grace) when I build my mansion, I will name it Sri Seshadri Nilayam :)

  2. I enjoy being in the company of good conversationalists. I love to hear them talk and listen to their experiences and nuances.

  3. I love the simple things in life. Eating at my regular hang-out appeals more to me than probably eating at Taj. I find fancy stuff too daunting and feel uncomfortable. This includes wearing ties and using a spoon and fork for a meal :)

  4. I leave hidden hints when I write :) Don't know how many people get it though :)

  5. I treat each and every thing: work, relationships, sports with full devotion and commitment irrespective of the rewards that are there/not there for me.

  6. Most of my best friends in life have been girls. I still consider myself very shy interacting with the opposite sex :)

  7. Im mostly soft-spoken and diplomatic. But if I get angry or reach the limit of my patience/tolerance, I can be very curt, rude and hurtful.

  8. From the time I was small and even till this day, whenever we are watching a movie and there is a funny scene in it, my dad and I instantly look at each other and smile :)

Aah! That wasn't so bad. Thanks Anshul for tagging me. I got to write a post at last!!!

In turn, I tag Ships, Archie, Shweta, Mythun da and Omi

Rules of the game:

  • Each player starts with 8 random facts/habits about themselves.

  • People who are tagged, write a blog post about their own 8 random things, and post these rules.

  • At the end of your post you need to tag people and include their names. Don’t forget to leave them a comment and tell them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

P.S: Please dont take the second part of pt. 6 too seriously :) I am very much single and available ;) So, if anyones interested, drop me a line ;) LOL

Monday, June 25, 2007

Happy Birthday Appa :)

Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday to you.

Happy Birthday dear Appa,
Happy Birthday to you.

From old friends and new,
From old friends and new.

Happy Birthday dear Appa,
Happy Birthday to you.

To the greatest man Iv had the privilege of knowing.

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Time Cast A Spell On You

Waqt ki qaid mein... Zindagi hai magar...
Chand ghadiyaan yehi hain jo azaad hain...

Theres a lifetime of happiness awaiting... Then what are a few moments?

Cheer up!!! :)

Sunday, June 17, 2007

A Life Less Ordinary...

A Moment Of Reason...

The last week was action packed. We had a major production release, during which a super-critical system of the bank went down. Pandemonium!!! But the way the switch to stand-by was done made me proud to be an IT Engineer :) Highly efficient and super quick. No major customer impact.

Owing to a few business decisions, the last few days have been torture. They made me question the value of my efforts as a project team member in the context of the project.

I have seriously considered moving away from all this over the last 3 days. My heart was no longer strong enough to fight and I saw no purpose to stay in Tokyo, if things would keep going the way they would. I felt totally drained of all strength, felt confused and hurt. Quite simply, I was devastated by the rollback.

But speaking to Prasanna last night really helped me gain some perspective about the reason why things happened the way they did. It told me the context which I was unable to figure out for myself. It taught me that there are bigger things in life and at Shinsei than a release rollback.

One of my key learnings and observations at Shinsei has been that the workload and pressure on almost all of my colleagues is much, much higher than it is on me. I am barely facing 1% of the issues that they see daily, have faced for a long time. But these being my initial days in the industry, I am still learning. Learning that I am nowhere the epicenter of work, nowhere as good as these people and have miles to go to be as good as them.

Arun, Zarina, Prasanna, Nikhil san, Sharad san, Sanjeev, Tushar san, Bala. I really admire these people for their calibre, work ethic, patience, intelligence, calm thinking and ability to make things happen in the face of all odds. I want to emulate them and in some small way put in practice what I have silently learnt from them.

That hope, Prasannas words and a silent dream that I have had for a long time. These 3 things have calmed me down and made me want to stay again.

Its a new day. Its a new start. BRING IT ON!!!

Saturday, June 16, 2007

Saturday, June 09, 2007

Mere Khwabon Mein...

Jaage Hain Der Tak Hame,
Kuch Aur Sone Do...

Thodi Si Raat Aur Hai,
Subah Toh Hone Do...

Aadhe Adhure Khwab Jo Pure Na Ho Sake,
Ek Baar Phir Se Neend Mein
Woh Khwab Bone Do...

Thursday, June 07, 2007

Sunday, May 27, 2007

Hazaron Khwahishain Aisi...

I came across Mythun's blog post about his last half year today while browsing. It spoke of his trials over the last half year where he was unable to get admissions into an MS programme, which finally culminated into him receiving an admission into a programme of his choice. Firstly, heartiest congratulations to him!!! Its a brilliant achievemnt, specially because he got what he wanted.

In his blog he mentioned a few things that after reading, pricked me somewhere, because I had/have myself faced such segmentations at various times. One, was him not getting admission into a school because he didnt have a "First Class with Distinction" in his first year, coz he flunked Mech. I believe, to be an IT engineer, you do not need to learn Mech. And I have seen a lot of students whose lives are screwed because of this idiotic paper. Also, this "First Class with Distinction" is an eyewash.

I say, keep a 100 marks practical exam in the core subjects and lets see how many of these "toppers" manage to pass 40. But as said in The Fountainhead, the easiest way to bring down a society is to enshrine mediocrity. And that is something the Maharashtra education has excelled at doing. A stupid board exam system in 10th and 12th, which only tests the rote learning, poor teaching in schools and junior college levels. Atrocious teaching standards in Engineering colleges. A very uneven playing field for students based on admissions through donations in Junior college and Engineering college.

A student is judged based on what college he studied at. But whats the criteria for entrance into these colleges? Rote learning. A student is judged by what marks he has scored. What is the criteria? Again rote learning. So, what is the guarantee that the student whose profile you are impressed with is actually impressive? I dont know.

All I know is that, if you are someone in such a good position, make the most of it. Milk your profile for all its worth. And if you are not, then you work harder and work sincerely and hope for the best. And most importantly, never stop believing in your own ability. No on needs certifications from other people about how good each one of us is. Deep down, we know.

The second thing that touched me was when he mentioned about the aspirations of his parents. His mom being vocal about her fears and his dad voicing his concerns in private to his mom. Being a fellow Tam-Bhram, could relate to this completely :) Its so true :)

P.S: I wanted to write so much more. So much more indeed. I wanted to relate my experiences being at the wrong end of the "profile" picture and the way I have still been fortunate to get good breaks. I wanted to relate, why I did not follow the system. But somewhere, deep down, something has changed. At some level, probably, this is nitpicking, commenting on the education system. But I have decided that I wont feel sorry for myself for my poor luck at various times and neither will I attach too much importance to anyones profile competing with me. I dont want to sit here and offer justifications or reasons. I just want to continue from where I am today (whichever way I got here) and look only 1 way: FORWARD. There is no looking back for me anymore. I have mentally disciplined myself for that.

I read Mythun's post and for a long time, it left me unbalanced. I was not able to put a finger on what I was feeling. I did not have words to express my emotions or my state of mind or the way I related with what he wrote. Then I found the right words on Vijaya's blog about Hazaron Khwaishain Aisi.

It sums up the essence, doesnt it? We live a life of dreams and hopes and aspirations. Ultimately, we all have our own journeys to reach our own goals. So why compare, why bother about where we lack (ofcourse, lets improve on our weaknesses), lets just go ahead and achieve our dreams.

Kya farak padta hai agar khwaishain hazaron Hain aur zindagi bas ek? Har armaan par ek zindagi bitadein aur har khwaish ko poora kar denge. Bas... thats it.

Saturday, May 19, 2007

2 Great Commercials

Came across these 2 great Lexus commercials today. What can one say? Great car, great commercials. Yenjoy!!!

1. Moments

2. The Pursuit of Perfection

For Mom and Dad...

My mom loves this car. Someday, I promise...

Thursday, May 17, 2007

Finding Love... Finding Strength

My grandparents are staying at my place in Mumbai for sometime now. And when I call home and speak to Grandpa, his words always are: "Very happy. Very happy to speak with you. God bless you. Very happy."

And then...

Sunday, May 13, 2007

Till Death Do Us Part...

Hope is a good thing. Maybe the best of all things. And no good thing ever dies.

Forza Milano... For now and for always... L'Milano Vincera...

Video courtesy ote999 from youtube

Life ke Funde

Life ke funde is a (currently proposed) 2 part series on what else, but some of my (and my pals') fundes in life that we share over conversations.

Why bore you with them? Hell, why not? :)...

Whether you agree/disagree, like it/hate it, any additions you wish to make, do drop a comment and share your thoughts.

Thursday, May 10, 2007

In GOD We Trust...

Please be with her...

Monday, May 07, 2007

I'v Been Searching My Soul Tonight...

Searchin' My Soul - Vonda Shepard

Ive been down this road walkin the line
Thats painted by pride
And I have made mistakes in my life
That I just cant hide

Oh I believe I am ready for what love has to bring
Got myself together, now Im ready to sing

Ive been searchin my soul tonight
I know theres so much more to life
Now I know I can shine a light
To find my way back home

One by one, the chains around me unwind
Every day now I feel that I can leave those years behind

Oh Ive been thinking of you for a long time
Theres a side of my life where Ive been blind and so...

Ive been searchin my soul tonight
I know theres so much more to life
Now I know I can shine a light
Everythings gonna be alright
Ive been searchin my soul tonight
Dont wanna be alone in life
Now I know I can shine a light
To find my way back home
Baby I been holding back now my whole life
Ive decided to move on now
Gonna leave all my worries behind

Oh I believe I am ready for what love has to give
Got myself together now Im ready to live

Ive been searchin my soul tonight
I know theres so much more to life
Now I know I can shine a light
Everythings gonna be alright
Ive been searchin my soul tonight
Dont wanna be alone in my life
Now I know I can shine a light
To find my way back home

Sunday, May 06, 2007

Up Where We Belong - Joe Cocker and Jennifer Warnes

Video courtesy vvooxxyy on youtube

Nine Million Bicycles - Katie Melua

Thanks to Arun san for this song recommendation. Has become one of my favourite songs.

Video courtesy Madzia109 on youtube

Saturday, May 05, 2007

Indian Cricket - Covering Its Backside, But Not Solving The Problem...

Tonight, all of a sudden, there started a debate in my house on the new policy of BCCI to reduce the container money for players and also to limit the number of endorsements to 3 per player. While I don't have much to say vis a vis the container money, I do feel that reducing the number of endorsements isn't the way to go forward to address the issue of poor performance, unless you can establish a direct corelation between poor performance and number of ads performed.

My view point is that the shelf life of any average player (lets keep out the Sachin's, Saurav's and Dravid's out) is nothing. How many fringe Team India players get to make money? After all, you cannot live a good life and a good lifestyle playing cricket solely. Most of these players do not have a good education to fall back on nor does the system support them after retirement. Then, unless their external sources of income has a direct bad influence on their performance, how can you curtail what they do in their personal time?

If not being focussed makes a player lose his form, then he will potentially risk his future earnings from the game by going out of favour from Team India selection. Now, which rational mind would work that way?

My only grouse with this clause of 3 endorsements per player is that it is a completely autocratic, illogical and knee jerk step that is done to satiate the public anger over the recent poor performance in the World Cup.

We, in India, seem to believe that doing eye washes is sufficient to swipe the issues under the carpet and in most cases, this is successfully carried out as well. What we are not good at doing is to identify the root cause of the problem and work towards solving it. Prevention is always better than attempted cure and the way forward is to build a strong team on the nucleus of ability, desire and commitment.

Till we allow politics, favouritism and regionalism to dictate our selection policies and turn a blind eye to the cause of deserving cricketers, how can fringe factors like number of endorsements, number of restaurants, guest appearences at functions etc influence the performance of a team? One guy letting success going to his head or one selfish player can damage his own performance and cause. But Cricket is a team game and not everyone is foolish or immature or unprofessional to let the fringe factors dictate their performances.

If a guy screws around, then by all means drop him or penalize him or do whatever it takes to get the message across that the detriment of the team won't be tolerated at any cost. But how can that justify applying a uniform rule across all sections that you can only do 3 ads? Lets face it. Getting into Team India is something like an industry person going to IIM Ahmedabad. It enhances your profile, your earning potential rises because of your increased media exposure and you basically have the chance to make hay while the sun is shining.

Well, the sun ain't gonna keep shining all through the life of a cricket player. And given the pathetic state of domestic cricket, what is wrong in a player making money through legal means in his personal time and capacity?

In the middle of this, some people will argue that let the players not sign BCCI contracts, if they are not happy with the clauses. My point is that does the player really have a choice? In its worst form, the BCCI contract is still better than any other contract which he can hope for. Basically, this is a case of the BCCI misusing its monopoly over Indian cricket to hurt the players' money earning capacity. If there had been a parallel series akin to the Kerry Packer World Series, then I believe that many players would have defected, if the terms were better than the crumbs that the BCCI is throwing right now.

All in all, I believe that the ills plauging the Indian cricket system are a lot more serious than the players earning a little money on the side. These include groupism, regional biases (now with a central committee, hopefully this will be erased), inability or unwillingness to drop out of form players or to pick deserving players. If we address these root causes of failure, then we wont have to bother with the inconsequential factors like number of advertisements a player does.

This World Cup debacle has given the impetus to cleanse the flawed Indian system. But will sense prevail? Or will we still go around breaking Dhoni's house like barbarians?

Sport is about wins and losses. I just hope we also learn the sporting spirit along with it.

Can This Man Face Failure And Bounce Back?

He thinks he can. Lets see what he is made of. It's been all talk so far. Let's see some action.


Whenever, I have a great day, this is the song that seems to play in my head...

Video courtesy wayeleongoh on youtube

Friday, May 04, 2007

Missing You...

I miss driving.
I miss South Indian functions.
I miss vada-sambar.
I miss rossogollas.
I miss my friends.
I miss my friends laughter on a joke that I told.
I miss being cared for.
I miss the sun.
I miss Mumbai in the rains.
I miss my Zen.
I miss football.
I miss masala dosa.
I miss dahi vada.
I miss Gurukripa ke samosas (with extra sweet chutney.)
I miss my friends from office.
I miss being caught in a traffic jam and chatting with bus friends to pass the time.
I miss having debates about the present state of Indian cricket.
I miss the parties back home with pals :)
I miss Indian girl(s) ;)

I miss being home.


My friend Kazi got into IIM-C recently. While doing some browsing, came across this video... Amazing! :)

Thursday, May 03, 2007

I Have A Dream...

I have a dream, a song to sing.
To help me cope, with anything.

If you see the wonders, of the fairytales,
You can take the future, even if you fail.

I believe in angels, something good in everything I see.
I believe in angels,

When the time is right for me, I'l cross the street.

I have a dream, a fantasy,
To help me cope, with reality.

And my destination makes it worth the while.
Pushing through the darkness, still another mile.

I believe in angels, something good in everything I see.
I believe in angels,

When I know the time is right for me, I'l cross the stream,
I have a dream.

Video courtesy Brightnights from youtube

I Believe We Can...

May 23rd is the big night. I sincerely believe that we can win it. No revenge. No nothing. I just want us to win. Thats all.

Video courtesy bladrunner43 from youtube

My Favourite Pablo Neruda Poem... :)

This is one of my all time favourite poems. I have wished to post it many, many times but always stopped short because people might get wrong ideas ;) But what the heck... Lets have it :)

Saddest Poem
- Pablo Neruda

I can write the saddest poem of all tonight.

Write, for instance: "The night is full of stars,
and the stars, blue, shiver in the distance."

The night wind whirls in the sky and sings.

I can write the saddest poem of all tonight.
I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too.

On nights like this, I held her in my arms.
I kissed her so many times under the infinite sky.

She loved me, sometimes I loved her.
How could I not have loved her large, still eyes?

I can write the saddest poem of all tonight.
To think I don't have her. To feel that I've lost her.

To hear the immense night, more immense without her.
And the poem falls to the soul as dew to grass.

What does it matter that my love couldn't keep her.
The night is full of stars and she is not with me.

That's all. Far away, someone sings. Far away.
My soul is lost without her.

As if to bring her near, my eyes search for her.
My heart searches for her and she is not with me.

The same night that whitens the same trees.
We, we who were, we are the same no longer.

I no longer love her, true, but how much I loved her.
My voice searched the wind to touch her ear.

Someone else's. She will be someone else's. As she once
belonged to my kisses.
Her voice, her light body. Her infinite eyes.

I no longer love her, true, but perhaps I love her.
Love is so short and oblivion so long.

Because on nights like this I held her in my arms,
my soul is lost without her.

Although this may be the last pain she causes me,
and this may be the last poem I write for her.

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

One Of My Favourites...

I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way

than this: where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.

- Pablo Neruda


For the first and only time in my life so far, today I thought that I would definately get fired from my job. But all said and done, managed to retrieve the situation and alls well that runs well :)

Also managed to get some more issues closed and at the end of the day, our servers had arrived. So hey ho, from tomorrow, its server setup time. It's gonna be a loooooong weekend.

Did someone say Golden Week???

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

Waqt Ki Qaid Mein... Zindagi Hai Magar...

I might be just a few hours away from losing my job :)

But hey so what! Lets see what happens...

Chand ghadiyaan yehi hain... jo aazad hai...

It's Tuesday Morning...

It's Tuesday Morning. I am in office. And my adrenaline is absolutely overflowing. Don't know why. I am feeling optimistic, raring to go and very, very positive for some reason.

Monday, April 30, 2007

Of Changes...

"I don't know that love changes. People change. Circumstances change."

- Nicolas Sparks

In Search Of Greatness

What is Greatness?

Greatness is comforting the people who need it the most, when they need it the most, without a care to what they can offer you in return.

Greatness is having it all and sharing it with those less fortunate.

Greatness is getting back up after getting beaten and striving to win (irrespective of the final result.)

Greatness is treating elders with kindness and respect.

Greatness is giving a damn to Society and what it thinks of you.

Greatness is to treat friends and loved ones with kindness and respect, no matter what stage of the relationship.

Greatness is pouring out a glass of water to a wounded enemy soldier.

Greatness is in sharing knowledge and not hoarding it.

Greatness is in trying honestly.

Greatness is in humility.

Greatness is in dignity under duress.

Greatness is a Parent.

Greatness is in truth.

Greatness is when the heart overcomes the deficiencies of ability.

Greatness is in following your dreams at all costs.

Greatness is in being loved by the one you love.

Greatness is in recognizing the contribution of the people who have made you.

Greatness is in fighting fair.

Greatness is staying true to yourself, true to your principles, under all pressures.

Greatness is to let go.

Greatness is nothing by itself.

Greatness is the journey. Greatness can never be the destination.

Sunday, April 29, 2007

Risking It All For The One You Love...

"What you value is shown by how much you are willing to risk in order to achieve it. Without great risk, there can be no great achievement."

A Moment of Brilliance... And Back To Square One...

I managed to fix an issue today that had been plaguing our system for the past month. Had tried all sorts of fixes but none worked. And last night, as I was at home, a probable solution struck me all of a sudden. It was a very simple and yet a very logical solution.

Came to office today and tried my approach. And voila! It worked. I was so damn excited. In my mind, I began to gloat.

However, after analyzing some more, I felt that I could optimize the fix more and create a foolproof solution. I tried it and it worked. And all my gloating came crashing down to the earth. I felt shattered that such a simple solution had eluded me over the past month. It was like having the wind knocked out of me.

I don't know why, that inspite of having fixed a super-critical issue, I am feeling down in the dumps because such a simple solution did not strike me.

I am re-evaluating the steps that I took previously in my failed attempts to solve this issue to analyze if there was an error in process of thoughts to fix this problem. I know I should have thought of this solution ages back, but what to do?

What's gone is gone. The system is working cleanly now. And I did manage to fix it.

Yet somehow, there is a void. I failed to fix it early on. It is my fault that I did not follow a proper thought process to analyze the root cause. My insufficient system knowledge (caused due to not reading the documentation end to end) led to my failure. I am feeling ashamed, gutted over my mistake.

I have made many professional mistakes (including the current one), which is fine. But somehow, I feel like I let down my team due to my lack of focus and improper processes.

I shall work hard to overcome this thought process error.

The Land Of The Rising Sun

Truly Japan is the land of the rising sun. It is just about 4.30 am and the day has broken. I am going to sleep.

Saturday, April 28, 2007

Todays Thought

What we have once enjoyed we can never lose. All that we love deeply becomes a part of us.
Helen Keller

Friday, April 27, 2007

Living Life One Day At A Time... Living A Day One Life At A Time...

I'm gazing,
At the vast open harbour waterline...

The day goes from blue to fiery to dark...
And I sit, without yesterday or tomorrow in sight.

Standing in the middle of vastness,
The only thoughts are of the ones who can't stand beside me.

Mind numbing loads, now replaced by a commitment to attempted excellence.
A sense of belonging,
A sense of longing.

I cannot stand beside my friends to comfort them.
I cannot stand beside my loved ones to comfort them.

A silent sigh and a strongly forgetful memory is all I have :)

Its not even about the money.
Its a mission. To finish what we have started.
Its a mission. To make people share the vision we have built.

Living with pain is an experience.
Pain is a lifetimes worth of experiences in a short while.

But what does not kill us only makes us stronger.

I just wish that we all would live this life with no sorrow and only joy.
But without a negative, how can we appreciate the value of our present?

Life is a story of second chances.
In sport, in love, in goals.

And the ones left standing arent the ones who remained unbeaten,
They are the ones who fell down, picked themselves up and aimed for the win.

Life in a nutshell, is about the well taken second chances.

A Moment Of Honour... A Moment Of Pride...

"IIM Calcutta called." Congratulations Kazi. You deserve it man. All the very best for the life ahead to come.

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

For Archie...



"Some experiences are painful to go through. But once you are past them, you are better for it..."

Saturday, April 14, 2007

impossible is NOTHING

For every one of those dreams. For every one of those loves. For every one of those breaths taken in this life. For this and every other lifetime:

Impossible is Nothing

Thursday, April 12, 2007

Of Second Chances...

For people like you and me, Life is all about second chances...

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Saving The Sun

Saving the Sun is the name of the book I am currently reading. It deals with the story behind the former Long Term Credit Bank (LTCB), now called Shinsei Bank and its history through the years preceding.

LTCB was one of the foremost banks in the world before a spectacular wipeout (very much on the cards) took it down. It was an epitome of the Japanese banking system and by no means the only casualty of a system that cannot be called flawed (since it was founded on a firm principle of nation rebuilding immediately after the world war) and yet was the reason for the collapse of the Japanese economy on such a devastating scale (since the economy outgrew the founding principles, but the system did not adapt owing to many intricate and complex nuances of the Japanese system, culture, history and thought processes.)

The collapsed bank was reinvented by an American group called Ripplewood and they turned the bank around and changed its domain of work.

Today, Shinsei Bank is the No. 1 bank in Japan and it makes me proud to be working at a place where history (good and bad) has been made. It makes me feel proud to be developing and delivering systems that a customer will use to benefit his/her life (in this case, banking.) I get a high when things work and people use a system. I cannot explain it, but it makes me feel nice.

Probably I am romanticizing too much, but frankly, this is one thing I love about the IT industry that I work in. We create solutions that are usable by the customer to improve the quality of their lives and to help them do their work better.

I would love to write much more, but I have just completed the book till the collapse of LTCB and the American investors planning to buy LTCB. I would like to finish the book and then write in detail about the history and the flow of the events.

However, one thing that stayed with me all throughout my reading so far has been that men have dedicated their entire lives to working in this bank (and so have men all across the Japanese spectrum, across institutions.) They went down trying to do best for their system and for their country. To an outside, supposedly rational mind, most of their decisions would seem like lack of common-sense or foresight, but thats precisely what intrigues me about the motives of these men.

These were some of the highest educated, talented, smart and well-travelled men in the world and they made huge errors in judgements in business. But their actions were dictated by their social conditioning and a thought of doing greater good for their nation at all times by working to strengthen the existing systems instead of diversifying outside the accepted practices.

They made huge mistakes (mind you trillions of yen worth of mistakes), but they did it knowingly and the conundrum for me is whether you can judge them as fools for doing that or sympathise with them for committing these mistakes, thinking they are doing best for their nation. Greed for oneself was not the motive for these men.

It is a painful thought that has stayed with me all through my reading of the book. Should one judge these men adversely as humans because they made mistakes knowingly, but they did not know at that time that they were making mistakes?

I am confused. And I feel sad, because these men gave their entire lives to improve the cause of Japan and its people. And in the end, they failed, because the system failed them. They were merely going ahead thinking that the system was being strengthened by their actions, when infact it was a spiral towards economic destruction: of the financial system and of the implementers of this outdated system.

No one walked out a winner. Many committed suicide and at the end of a long life of hard work, had failure to show for their efforts.

I just wish that whereever they are, whatever they are doing, God is with them.

The Japanese deserve to be happy.

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Too Much!!! :)

"It is something which cannot be a mandate but something worth doing because of my own preference which I give to it."

Monday, March 05, 2007

Friday, March 02, 2007

To Be Or Not To Be...

The thought just struck my mind: "Probably, they aren't looking for mavericks. Probably, it is better to adapt to the system and work with it, than to make futile attempts to overhaul it."

Sunday, February 25, 2007

Is Raat Ki Subah Nahi :)

Friday nights are fun :) Usually, we are off to play pool, on a night out, party a bit somewhere, or just hang out at someones place and do tp. We usually leave office by around 10.30 and reach home to sleep around 4-5 AM Saturday. Yesterday night was one of the most memorable in my stay :)

It was a day like many others before it. Tight deadlines to meet the UAT release deadlines, urgent activities to complete and all was ready by 2 PM. Well, as all stories go, this activity went on till a long way past that time :) and we were sitting in office till 6 AM making the release. LOL.

I used to think that I am a pretty calm person :) But I don't know, if it is the need of the hour or just age and experiences that it has become very regular to treat dire emergencies in a manner which says: "What do I need to do in order to make this run? Right. Problem 1: Cause & Treatment. Problem 2: Cause & Treatment..." instead of "Damn! How did this happen? What do we do now?"

It was a pleasant surprise to have a broken release and to apply ones quick thinking and problem resolution skills to solve the problems and get the system working. Server shell scripts, component versioning problems, code dependencies, port mapping issues, display rendering issues. We solved them all one by one and closed shop at 6 AM.

Frankly, the mind fought till 4.30 AM. After that, it was purely on auto-pilot. Hunger was forgotten and fatigue was fought as much as possible. And the team worked together as one unit and it was a beautiful combined effort of all that brought the system up and saved the day :)

Well, alls well that ends well and we left office to the beautiful sight of the rising sun. I loved the night :) For what it was and a mini-adventure at work too :)

To Lil Bachchi

Bachchi, great luck with your dream(s)...

Mast Life

Today, I complete 3 months in Japan. The first thing after arriving was to travel to Mast Life Apartment in Nishi Gotanda, which was to be my home. I entered flat 308 and was shocked by the smallness of the studio apartment. The entire apartment was approximately the size of my room back home. Probably, it was one of the factors that also made me feel homesick on the first night. I decided that work and money be damned. Im going home by the first flight in 3 months.

But as time passed, I grew more accustomed to feeling this apartment as my "home". I dislike the word "room" which most people use for their places of living (particularly people living outside their homes and in my industry. I see this as a very common usage. I keep quiet, but I don't like it.) To me a home is a special place. A place of love, security, peace, privacy, happiness. And somehow, the word "home" is very special to me. I don't know why. Just.

Tomorrow, I move away from No. 308, Mast Life to a place called Tamachi, where I will be sharing my home with a couple of friends. And even I am surprised that the initial feeling of shock over a small apartment has been replaced with an almost sentimental feeling of loss over having to leave this home. It's embarassing almost, but it is the truth and so be it. I will miss No. 308. I will miss my times here of the last 3 months.

My first home away from home. My first place where I made sambar :), learnt to make good alu mutter, rajma :), my first home where I bought some gadgets for myself with HIS and THEIR blessings. My thoughts when in this room, my blogging, my privacy. My discussions and calls with various people. I will carry many memories of No. 308. I will carry memories of people's kindness, their cooperation, joint lunches, lunctime FRIENDS episodes, night outs :)

I am just one of many people that have lived here. This home is one of many I have lived in in my life. But, somewhere, it became a part of my life. Somehow, I am leaving a part of me here.

Mast Life 308 - Home Sweet Home. Farewell friend...

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Do You Wonder?

- Do you wonder how you seem to have all the luck in the world?
- Do you wonder if it is luck or are you just happy with whatever life gives you?
- Do you wonder how you are getting paid royally to do some stuff you would have done for free even, coz you love what you do :) ?
- Do you wonder if all Christmases have come together often?
- Do you wonder how it must feel to be the Australian Cricket Team? To be IN the Australian Cricket Team?
- Do you wonder when you became the antithesis of what you were?
- Do you wonder why life is so beautiful?
- Do you wonder why a dew drop makes your day? :)
- Do you wonder why you are so calm?
- Do you wonder why you think you can "do something" with your life?
- Do you wonder why you don't sleep much when you should?
- Do you wonder about all the parties you seem to be missing now a days? :)
- Do you wonder often about what meal you are going to have today?
- Do you wonder if you will travel again someday?
- Do you wonder about life in Tokyo being so similar to life in Mumbai and yet Mumbai winning hands down! :)
- Do you wonder what you would say to Satyajit Ray if you suddenly met him?
- Do you wonder if you will ever take risks?
- Do you wonder if you wonder too much?

Do you know that it is almost 2.30 AM? Go to sleep :)

To Someone...

You promised him on his birthday... It is a promise you want to keep at all costs... You know you have it in you... You know things are right... What are you waiting for? Just free your mind, dude... Just free your mind... It is all in the mind... You know it... Work on it... Work with all your energy, all your strength, all your mind towards it... You have lived with it for 4 years... How can you say that it is not for you? All you need is a strong heart and a strong mind... Let go of the past... Let go of all the pasts... This is not like those... This is absolutely not like those... You know what you have to do... You know you have to do it... There is no looking back... Be that unfearing kid once again... It worked partially...

You have the reasons... You have the purpose... You have the reason to achieve your destiny and you have the purpose to fulfill that reason... Very few understand their purpose, their reasons... You are lucky to know them... Just free your mind and don't be afraid... It is not yours for the taking... But it is also certainly not out of reach...

Awake, arise and stop not until the goal is reached...
Believe in yourself, Believe in God...
The sky is the limit...

- Swami Vivekananda

Do you know how you can do it? I think you have the answer...

Each time you feel weak, each time you feel like quitting, each time you come up with an excuse to postpone or give up, remember Ashish...

Remember Ashish...

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Monday, February 19, 2007

For Maa...

The woods are lovely, dark and deep...
And I have promises to keep...
And miles to go before I sleep...
And miles to go before I sleep...

I will...

A Beautiful Mind

I was watching the movie "A Beautiful Mind" tonight and as is our system, we watch parts of stuff over lunch and dinner which is the only free time in a day we get :) Part I was seen a few nights back and I immediately sensed that it might be a movie I would love watching.

Part II was seen tonight and I really enjoyed the movie overall, though it was painful to see John Nash's trials and tribulations, I also marvelled at the God-given intelligence that a man can possess. Pure brilliance is so beautiful...

I have met countless people in my life, infact, all people I have met in my life, have left me speechless at one point or the other with their intelligence, wisdom, brilliance, humility. And, no, it has never made me feel bad, for not being good enough. Infact, it somehow gladdens me that these people chose to share their knowledge with me and helped me.

True intelligence is a great thing and must be celebrated. Great institutions make great men. And great men make great institutions. I believe that it is symbiotic. Great men and great institutions go hand in hand. One cannot be without the other. Atleast, I believe so.

But, does greatness know itself? Would the great men know they are great? Won't it be normal for them? Regular? Can it be pre-ordained? Or is it the course of a human being's life and the way it is conducted that makes it great?

This movie touched a deep chord in my heart. It brought out the frailties and the strengths of the human mind. A brilliant mathematician and yet afflicted by schizophrenia. Subjected to difficult treatments and finally his own willpower, and not the medicines, helped him overcome his disability.

John Forbes Nash Jr. is the proponent of one of my favourite mathematical and economics concepts, Game Theory. I have the highest regard for him, for the work he has done and all that he has achieved in his brilliant career. His life story is described here. But to me, after reading up on him, his greatest achievement is his will power in living with and working on his schizophrenia, his quest to achieve and study more maths, his single minded commitment towards the cause he was probably destined for.

Maybe the greatest thing about greatness is having a great heart... They too are symbiotic... One cannot be without the other...

John Forbes Nash, Ladies and Gentlemen...

Sunday, February 18, 2007

Mere Maa Ke Pairon Ko Chooke Tu... Use Uske Bete Ka Naam De...

A small salute to our brave men and women... God be with you... Jai Hind.


I saw this song when I was 17. And my life changed ever since. I fell in love with the BMW Z3 Roadster in this song and well, ever since that moment, it is the car I have wanted to definately own someday :) LOL Given Mumbai's roads, let's see how far this dream becomes a practical reality :)

Saturday, February 17, 2007

Main Kaise Inhe Bhoolun...

A song with a lot of meaning... Truly an amazing song from a once-in-a-lifetime movie...

Friday, February 16, 2007


Maa woh hai... Jo humko itna pyaar karti hai, ki kabhi kabhi hum khud us pyaar ko samajh nahi paate...

Maa woh hai... Jo humko ehsaas dilati hai ki hum kitne achhe hain, humse achha aur koi hai hi nahi...

Maa woh hai... Jiski khushi hamari hasi se hai... Jiska dukh hamare dukh se hai...

Maa woh hai... Jiske bina hum jee nahi sakte...

Maa... Maa sab kuch hai

For Anshum... :)

Thursday, February 15, 2007

All's Well That Ends Well

A day that promised to be battering and bruising and bad... Ended in smiles and laughter and pleasant weather... Thank you God! :)

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Be With Him...

Be With Him Swamigale...

My Promise...

I will work harder...

Monday, February 12, 2007


World Cup 1998 - David Beckham was sent off in the 2nd Round (Group of 16) match against Argentina for kicking Diego Simeone after being provoked. England went on to lose the match on penalties after drawing 2-2.

The English media held Beckham responsible for this defeat.

Beckham could not return home for 3 months due to public anger over his "conduct". They threatened to harm his wife and they abused him and his family. They even made horrific remarks about his unborn kid.

World Cup 2002 - His response.

Someday... Someway...

Someday I want to be the guy doing this :)

Someday, I want a stadium cheering for me :)

Two Men, Two Dreams, One Song :)

There is no explanation in my mind why I am living this dream... But I surely pray that I do not have to wake up from this beautiful dream someday... In the meanwhile, I just keep thanking God for granting me the privilege of seeing his created beauty each and every day and wonder what right I must have done... Standing under the vast expanse of the night sky, looking up at the stars... Life is beautiful... Thank you God :)

Yellam ungal arul taan, Swamigale... Romba romba Nandri... Indha arulk naan layaka illaiya teriyaad... Ana nichyam romba romba nandri...