AC Milan, Forever in my Heart

If You Could Only See The Way She Loves Me

We aren't very different, you and I
Distances apart, though very much near
Of the same breezes, the same directions
Infinite hopes, carefully woven dreams
A glance at the future
Reassuring and reinvigorating
A lifetime spent with you
An ode to a lifetime's stories

We aren't very different, you and I

Happy Birthday Amma!

I love you.

Ad Astra Per Aspera

Watching the movie Gattaca after so many years tonight was a pleasant experience. Time has gone by, but I still remain fascinated with the way man's determination and destiny can overcome obstacles seemingly insurmountable and this is shown so beautifully in this movie.

Through time, I'v learnt we need to dream with our eyes open. Not because we are afraid of the moment of pleasure/joy/success being taken away from us, but because we can see the path ahead with confident eyes and know that we have earned the right to be here, in this moment.

A rough road leads to the stars. And yes. Apollo Creed is a great fighter.

Song For Tonight

The Street of Dreams - Chinese Democracy (Guns N' Roses)

All the love in the world
Couldn't save you
All the innocence inside
You know I tried so hard to make you
Oh, to make you change your mind

And it hurts too much to see you
And how you left yourself behind
You know I wouldn't want to be you
Now there's a hell I can't describe

So now I wander through my days
And try to find my ways
To the feelings that I felt
I saved for you and no one else
And though as long as this road seems
I know it's called the street of dreams
But that's not stardust on my feet
It leaves a taste that's bittersweet
That's called the blues

I don't know just what I should do
Everywhere I go I see you
Though it's what you planned
This much is true
What I thought was beautiful
Don't live inside of you
Anymore

I don't know just what I should do
Everywhere I go I see you
Though it's what you planned
This much is true
What I thought was beautiful
Don't live inside of you
Anymore

What this means to me
Is more than I know you believe
What I thought of you now
Has I thought that was true before
Were lies I couldn't see
What I thought was beautiful is only memories

Oh oh oh
What'd I tell you
Oh oh oh
That's
Oh oh oh
Oh oh oh
Inside of you

Beautiful Memory

I just recollected my first ever footballing memory: Juergen Klinsmann sliding in and scoring the first goal of the 1994 Football World cup.

#401

Your task is not to seek love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.

Phoenix

I received my TOEFL scores today. While I knew I had done well, my scores were off the charts with a near perfect 118/120. I scored full marks in 2 sections (Reading and Writing) and lost a mark each in Listening and Speaking.

The TOEFL is considered a cakewalk, yet I was quite anxious to meet the minimum benchmark of 100 (along with the sectional breakups of 23 each) set by most institutions. I find it funny that all my life I have read/written/spoken/been educated in English; heck, I even dream and think in English and yet these institutions ask me for proof that my English is good. Well, all said and done, hence proved! Id like to have my USD 165 back now, please :)

Whilst this may not be an earth shattering event in itself, somehow today I felt on top of the world. I have been a decent student in school and college, but not managed to hit the high notes regularly. And I believe somewhere down the line, I lost my hunger to score high for the sake of itself, because I realized how unfair the educational system here is, with seats being bought and an intentional uneven playing field being setup in the opportunities afforded to students and I contended myself by involving myself fully in that which mattered most to me (albeit quite successfully).

Today that academic hunger is back. I want to do well. Not to prove a fig to anyone, but myself. I want to go up against that test that promises to keep getting tougher as you keep doing better and I want to crack it. I want to go back to being that kid who enjoyed solving Maths problems in 3-4 different ways other than the one given in the text books. I want to go back and learn gerunds, participles and tenses, like the kid learnt from Wren and Martin. I want to go back in time and bring back the spirit of that kid who wrote 15 page essays in a 3 hour exam because he wanted to make a point and express his opinions.

I want to do well because it is who I am. And while doing that, I am still going to enjoy myself thoroughly.

I Didn't Say Thank-You

I keep coming back to the realization that it is that which is good within us that strengthens our lives and character. Though the world may make us question our beliefs and values, it is what we stand for that is the ultimate true test of what we become.

I realized that the world runs, not through systems, processes or efficiency, but through human beings being made to feel wanted, being made to feel that they are part of something special, when people see others being truthful to them.

Many a time, we bury who we are underneath who we choose to become. Let's get back to the basics. Look inwards and ask yourself what you stand for. Stand in front of a mirror and know that what you have become is what you were meant to be.

You'll never have to live another person's life. There is only one you.

Testing New Channel

This is why I love technology :)

- My first post through email :)

Things on my mind today :)

Im workin' on a dream :)

I dream small dreams, I dream big dreams... but its the love I put into my dreams that I enjoy the most!

I love you and I will miss you and Im so sad that you are leaving.

Quote for tonight

It is not the magnitude of our actions but the amount of love that is put into them that matters.
- Mother Teresa

Well Played, Liverpool

All rivalry aside, football is bigger than any 1 club or competition. So, hats off Liverpool for last night's gameplay! Well played but tough luck. Congrats Chelsea! All the best for the Semi-Finals.

Up, Up and ...

I received a mail today morning saying I had to have a discussion with a sales team member from Bangalore. I had the discussion and it turned out that I have to go and meet a client to further gather information to fine tune our business proposal. The sales team member walked me through a demo of our product also noting the points they were expecting more information on. They also wanted me to advice the client on how our product could cater to their needs on a fly-by basis by speaking to them. I was also told to propose ancillary add-ons that we could translate into sales.

Iv read many notes saying that one needs to address professional stereotypes in B-School apps. One of them is that Engineers are superbly gifted in quantitative areas, but poor in soft skills. Sitting and absorbing the inputs over the call made me realize why such stereotypes exist. I could always visualize myself consulting and advising clients on how and why they should do a certain thing technically. But to be able to tie the client's background, anticipate the client's unspoken requirements and tie them with our product offering was a completely new ball game for me.

Add to this the expectations that I must try to plug our commercial terms and ancillary offerings with demos if needed, and I began wondering what made them think I could do this.

If there is something I have learnt through "experience", it is that one must break down a problem into solvable parts and solve each part individually before bringing together all the parts to present a complete solution. Keeping that in mind, I have broken down the tasks into presentations and quantitative areas.

I pulled out the client websites and read it end to end, pulled out the client profile from LinkedIn and saw what background the client has and where I could introduce some conversation fillers based on shared experiences. The quantitative areas would be taken care of by preparing a detailed questionairre which will include which part of the meeting a certain question must be asked in along with any points of note as markers. Will sit with a team member to understand the features and if possible include a demo of the add-on product offerings that we intend to advertise to the client. Have asked mom to get my business formals attire when she is visiting this weekend (the meeting will be scheduled for early/mid next week.) Also spoke to a friend (who has an MBA from IIM Lucknow) to crosscheck the items that needed to go into the meeting/presentation.

All in all, I plan to go prepared with what I feel is the best I can do. The rest whatever has to happen will happen!

I Believe

The first couple of days of the new job are done with. And the verdict on the new job is: "It's tough!"

I will be handling technical pre-sales and project management for a few projects, coordinating with both my sales teams comprising of a co-founder and the vice-president of my company along with managing developers and reporting to the director of mobile technology for my project work.

Sounds like a lot? Well, thats the easy part. The tough part is the initiation to new technologies and scaling up and learning the capabilities of each technology on a need basis with a very short turnaround time. The weightage given to my inputs places an additional pressure to get it right the first time. And I find that there are so many things I do not know of and I need to learn. The confidence has taken a massive hit and I am left with many self-doubts.

But in all of this, I still managed to get the gap analysis and review of estimates for my first assignment spot on. That told me that the raw material was in place and I have done my homework. Across industry verticals, domains and technologies, principles underlying project management will remain the same.

My self notes going forward are to keep doing my job. Thats it. Whats happening correctly needs to continue. What I have to learn new, well, I have to learn.

"If you desire something with all your heart, and work hard and work hard and work hard, yes you can succeed."

The Power to Change

"A butterfly fluttering its wings in one part of the world could cause a storm in another."

Little do we realize the impact of small conversations on the course of life. Little do we realize the true meaning of the word "change." Or "power." Or "ability."

Little do we realize the power of the human will. The power of the human mind. The ability to look at oneself in a detached way and in a moment realize the truth of the matter and to commit to change in an instant, without a semblance of ego attached, purely because of the truth and merit of what has just been postulated.

Life is a journey. Finish stronger. Finish better.

The power of the ability to change is what, if not the power of the human will and an honest heart in the quest for self-improvement.

Jo Allah Ki Marzi... Wohi Hoga...

I believe...

In Pursuit Of Happyness

This part of my life is called Happyness. There are so many thoughts that can be thought, so many emotions that could be felt; but all I feel is a strange sense of peace and calm and happyness. Its almost as if all the unspent tears have wilted away to be replaced with an end to end smile all the while.

All the moments of despair, all the moments of self-doubt, all the moments of questioning. Looking back, its almost as thought I have been walking through a pre-determined path to Happyness without knowing the big picture. How else can one explain how everything fits perfectly?

More in some days. For now, I wish you the same sense of happiness that I feel at the moment. For now and always.

I Love You Ma. I Love You Dad.

In Search of Greatness

"Most times when you do something great, it's not overnight. It's not something that comes easy. It comes with a lot of hard work, a lot of time, a lot of commitment."
- Kurt Warner

---

This is the make or break year. And I have waited a long, long time for this year. I just want to keep coming back to the line above each time I need some reassurance.

Good Evening, Mister President

Kaka stays at AC Milan.
Barack Obama becomes President of the United States.
Hearing the special someone's voice.
A small step forward towards a special tomorrow.

Yes. There are good days.

Song For Tonight

Dont Let The Sun Catch You Crying - Rickie Lee Jones

Don't let the sun catch you cryin'
The night's the time for all your tears
Your heart may be broken tonight
But tomorrow with the morning light
Don't let the sun catch you cryin'

The nighttime shadows disappear
And with them go all your tears
Cuz the morning will bring joy for every girl and boy
So don't let the sun catch you cryin'

We know that cryin's not a bad thing
But stop your cryin' when the birds sing
It may be hard to discover
That you've been left for another
But don't forget that love's the game
That can always come again
So don't let the sun catch you cryin'

Don't let the sun catch you cryin'
Don't let the sun catch you cryin'
Don't let the sun catch you cryin'
Oh, no.

---

Heard this song on iTunes Radio. Was a live performance. Loved it.

Goalkeepers :D

This just reinforces my theory that goalkeepers are the awesomest entertainers in football. Cristiano Ronaldo might be the first, second and third best player in the world, but he cannot be a goalkeeper ;)

Have You Ever Seen The Rain?

Humility. Gratefulness. Satisfaction. Contentment. Fulfillment.

Creedence Clearwater Revival - Have You Ever Seen The Rain?

Changing Lives

Life moves in a symphony of crests and troughs of a sine wave. Finish stronger than you start.

Yes. Life is kind.

Do We Bring Terror Upon Ourselves?

It's been a week since the Mumbai terror attacks. Politicians have been themselves, indulging in cheap-giri, media pundits, aam aadmi and every Tom, Dick and Harry have had their opinion on the way forward and about those responsible, Pakistan as usual is protesting its "innocence" and the involvement of "non-state actors" (a cunning new phrase), the Indian government is panicked since elections are round the corner and has done some eye-wash shuffling, foreign countries are somewhere in the mix and trying to further their own causes through statements supporting one country or the other. Its a live drama of Shakespearean proportions and since all the worlds a stage and we are but its actors (stately or otherwise), where is the audience??? Well, let me be one here.

Nothing that meets the eye is really what it seems. Any incident/happening/event cannot be the result of a single act/provocation/event. For a moment, let us rollup and look at events from a macroscopic view, instead of taking a focus on 1 city, 1 people.

What just happened? Some people armed with weapons, killed people. This template can be applied across a host of countries in different regions around the world, a different (or same) people each time, with different people at the right and wrong ends. What is different is same.

To this template, let me now add the following actors: Al Qaeda, George Bush, Musharraf, Narendra Modi, Osama bin Laden, the Israelis, The Irish Republican Army, Iraq, Jemaah Islamiyah, Inter Services Intelligence, L.K. Advani, the Palestinians, Tony Blair, Lashkar e Tayyiba aka Jamaat ul Daawa, Students Islamic Movement of India, Indian Mujahideen, the Central Intelligence Agency, Moses.

Now you tell me, who is on the right and wrong side of the gun barrel amongst them?

If your answer is A, there are counter arguments. If your answer is B, there are counter arguments. And if your answer is "I cant say for sure, but Id like to find out", then you are in for a cynicism inducing day with Wikipedia.

If killing of humans is a sin, then we have been sinners since time immemorial. Right from Kane and Abel till present day, bloodshed and violence has been a hallmark of the human race. From the deliverance of the Jews by Moses through the Purges of Christianity to the demolition of the Babri Masjid and Gujarat Riots of 2002, we have been sinners, directly or indirectly. I put my mind through times past and there is not a single age or period in which I can say that the world has been a safe place to live in.

Man has been fighting for land, for respect, for ego, for identity, for economic gains, for religion from the time we remember. The fighting has not been restricted to any religion, any particular race or any particular place. It has been a constant throughout history, with pauses till it resumes again with renewed vigour.

"Terrorists strike ___________." You can fill the blank with Mumbai, Islamabad, New York, Madrid, London, Dar-e-Salam, Beslan or any other city in the world. The reason you can do that is the same reason it happened in Mumbai: Someone was dissatisfied.

Why were they dissatisfied?

In the case of Mumbai, reports say that the operatives were brainwashed with images and speeches by leaders in the Babri Masjid demolition and Gujarat riots. Now, how many of you agree with what happened in Ayodhya or in Gujarat? And if you feel it was wrong, then why arent the "actors" in those instances behind bars? Why arent they penalized? Why are they still in power (of all places) and felicitated and respected by certain communities of people for their actions. What is the difference between organized, state-supported killing of civilians of certain communities in Gujarat and an internationally known genocide called the Holocaust?

People cheered and whistled when a politician was gunned down in Rang De Basanti. People said they would love to do the same. So when a youth takes matters into his own hands and kills to make a point, hasn't society prepared the criminal? Through its actions, through its callousness, through its alignment/acceptance and lack of critique for other criminals who are on the right side of the law today.

There have been eye-wash investigations which have let off Advani and Modi scot-free and put them beyond reproach. So, if an individual (through choice or coercion takes to the gun to level the scores against those he considers representatives of that line of thought) how does one judge. Both past and present actions?

Our attitudes, our belief systems, our values. These shape our thinking and our responses. An act of reaching out to a fellow human being needs only truthfulness of action and purity of thought. Unfortunately, in the extremely insecure and selfish times from past to present, that simple requirement gets lost in myraid confusions.

But the next time one hears of the denouncement of a race, a religion, a people, a thought or indulges in it oneself, please remember that harming some other person never brings true prosperity or security for oneself. If you are stronger than someone at the moment, someone will be stronger than you the next.

Next time you beat up kids from Bihar for writing Railway exams in Mumbai, know that your children could die in the next attack on Mumbai. Why? Because you yourself set the wheels of hate into motion. And hate foments terror. That is the straightest line of derivation. Everything else is an add-on as per the circumstances.

In the context of this discussion, the important question isnt whether we bring terror upon ourselves? The answer can be Yes/No/Maybe, depending on where you come from.

The most important question is whether we have a choice to be terror-free. And the answer to that is a resounding YES.

Charter of improvements sought in the Anti-terror setup in India

This is a humble request to the Government of India from its people. We stand united as Indians and we support this nation through thick and thin. But we also seek support from the Government to live lives that are free from violence, insecurity and terrorism. We stand, not as Mumbaikars, Delhiites, North-Indians, South-Indians, Hindus, Muslims, Sikhs or Christians, but as one Indian. We are not separated by religion, location or profession. We stand united in this demand for good governance and for the provision of rights bestowed by the supreme Constitution of India on each Indian.

Our suggestions for a better, improved anti-terror control mechanism in India consists of the following:

1. Setting up of an autonomous body for coordination of anti-terrorism related activities.

We seek the creation of an autonomous body for the coordination of anti-terrorism related activities. This body will have a centralized decision making setup and will delegate tasks to local/regional cells. It will directly report to the National Security Advisor and Joint Chief of Staffs of the Indian Military. It shall cover the following areas of responsibility:

1. Gathering intelligence through focussed resources and passing it to the respective State or Regional cells.
2. Setting up of and monitoring the progress of a training center for teaching management and communications during terrorist strikes to selected representatives of the military, para-military, police forces, coast guards and medical teams from the States to deal with terrorism events.
3. Provision of the best available infrastructure and equipment for its members for training and operations.
4. A central controlling committee overseeing activities and coordination with local bodies in the event of a terrorist strike. This body will report directly to the Prime Minister of India. Any report of terrorist activity or disturbance in any state must be conveyed to this body, which will activate the requisite bodies on the ground into action, keeping the local government in the loop. An escalation of levels of violence beyond locally containable capability will be directly intimated to the Prime Minister of India, followed by an increase in the threat level and activation of more sophisticated military elements.

2. Decentralization of the National Security Guards (NSG).

The NSG is India’s premier anti-terrorism outfit and is well-trained to tackle events of terrorism. However, its current location means an inevitable delay in scrambling its resources into action. We propose a decentralization of the NSG with central command still located out of New Delhi. Identification of regional nerve centres for the location of regional chapters of the NSG must be followed by a setting up of operational centres for the same. In the event of a rise in the threat level (as described in Sec 1.d), the central and regional directors of the NSG will be intimated and brought in to support the operations and offer advice to the central committee.

3. Improved sea border patrolling by the Coast Guards

The coast guard shall be given a more prominent role in this activity. They must train with the Navy for joint operations and develop para-military capability for performing reconnaissance, seek and destroy and preventive strike operations against identified enemy craft or personnel.

---

These are a few points that came to my mind and I wanted to present them to the Government of India as a set of suggestions from the people to help contributing ideas going forward. Please feel free to post your comments and any ideas which you would like to see added to this charter. I will keep updating this charter with meritorious ideas that keep coming in.

---

Dear Saurav da

To say goodbye would mean saying you have left. But how can someone who lives on in the attitudes, minds and hopes of every Indian ever leave from our hearts?

This won't be a goodbye. This won't be a farewell.

This is a message that where you left off is where we begin. Your message inspires us each day.

Go well dada!

Hahahahahahahaha... This is FANTASTIC!!!

Thought for Today

Courtesy: xkcd

Iv Been Tagged

1. If your lover betrayed you, what will your first thought be?
The more things change, the more they remain the same ;)

2. If you can have a dream coming true, what would it be?
Walking into Wharton as a student.

3. What is the one thing most hated by you?
Being asked to do work I dont believe in.

4. What would you do with a billion dollars?
Buy a huge mansion with sprawling lawns, build a mini 15 seater theatre with the best dolby sound, one video game room with PSP, Playstation, XBox and Wii consoles + thousands of video game titles, buy guitars: acoustic, classical and electric and hire the best teachers to teach me, one games room with a foosball and pool tables, a football stadium within my mansion with AC Milan and Manchester United playing weekly and the rest of the money I will give to my parents to take pocket money whenever required.

5. Will you fall in love with your best friend?
Been there, done that.

6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?
Playing football is the best feeling.

7. How long do you intend to wait for someone you really love?
Till the time the next one comes along ;)

8. If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?
Keep shut.

9. If you like to act with someone, who will it be? Your gf/bf or an actress/actor?
Depends on what kind of acting is needed ;)

10. What takes you down the fastest?
Dishonesty around me.

11. How would you see yourself in ten years time?
Maybe single, but definately rich!

12. What’s your fear?
Losing my family.

13. What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?
Omi - spiritual, socially aware, making-it-happen-person, bong-ly, non-techie!

14. Would you rather be single and rich, or married but poor?
Whatever has rich, I want to be that.

15. What’s the first thing you do when you wake up?
Tell myself this is gonna be the best day of my life.

16. Would you give all in a relationship?
No.

17. If you fall in love with two people simultaneously, who would you pick?
The one who looks good on my B-School profile ;)

18. Would you forgive and forget no matter how horrible a thing that special someone has done?
Raat gayi, baat gayi, dosti gayi.

19. If you get to go back in time and fall in love all over again , would it still be with the same person?
No.

20. What will you do about climate crisis?
Contribute to it so that people can have jobs dealing with it.

I tag Anshul, Nova, Archie, Shweta, Mythun and Ships!

In the Name of the Father

Well, G-day has come and gone. And the score is a 690. Not too great, not too low. Neither here, nor there :D Its the kind of score that tempts you to think of retaking the GMAT again, and yet is a pretty reasonable addition to a pretty good profile.

For now, Im going to sit back and relax. This is a huge day in my life, for the fact that I have managed to get past a mental hurdle that has been in my way for a very long time. And that is actually taking the GMAT and putting up a score on the board. Probably I don't even realize the magnitude of my actions today, but its a huge weight off my shoulders.

All in all, I cannot complain much. The score is in the same range I was getting in practice. Additionally, the only top school I was looking at was Wharton. While Wharton seems a distant possibility now, my score should be good enough for the rest of the schools that are in my target list. Combined with my international workex, decent acads and extra-curriculars, I believe I am a strong candidate.

Now, its a matter of convincing the ad-coms ;)

Pre-match jitters

G-day is 2 days away. And the pre-match jitters are coming and going. My scores have fluctuated quite wildly and while I am confident of hitting 720, it has to be done on G-day still. Im getting the 49 Qs. Its the Vs that are fluctuating. Last time was a 33. Hope to bring it up to 40 and with my (hopefully decent) Q, it should be a decent outing.

A hundred thoughts going through my mind, wondering many things.

Anyways, I really don't think I am going to be bothered thinking too many things in those 4 hours. It's going to be difficult enough to focus on the test. And thats all Im going to look to do.

Note to self: Let your light shine.

Beckham on loan to AC Milan

This is good news. Iv always liked David Beckham as a player and person. His freekicks are phenomenal and his character is something I have admired. It will be nice to have him on loan and let's hope it is good for both him and Milan!